How are you doing?

In my grief books I have been reading a lot about husbands and how they are grieving.  One thing that has really stood out to me is how everyone will ask 'how I am doing'...but not ask Nick how he is doing.

Why is it that as a society we think that men do not grieve?
Yes I carried Layla everyday, but Nick is the one that saw my body change everyday.
He was there when I couldn't keep any food down.
He was there to hear her heartbeat and first pictures.
He was there when my feet and hands swelled.
He was there when the doctors told us to terminate our pregnancy.
He went to the funerals homes to make preparations for Layla.
He was the one who held my hand as I gave birth to our daughter.
He is the one who went back to work after 2 weeks.
He is the one who 'has to be strong' when I am falling apart.

Why shouldn't he be able to grieve too???  He lost his daughter too!!

So next time you see us or anyone who has lost a loved one,
don't just ask the mom/wife how she is doing, ask about the dad/husband too!!